If I
by CallistoLexx
Summary: This is a short story set in the past. Little Fox falls in love.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Passions is NBC/JER's and many other people's. Bif Naked is her own (as are her songs.) 

**Notes:** I don't know many current ages. Just that Kay and Miguel are 18. I age Theresa at about 20 (because she graduated HS when she was 18 and it's been two years since then). And I have decided to age Fox at 23 and Ethan at 25. Also, this is pretty much a pointless little fic. I just got the idea and decided to write it. After all, it's only a few pages. 

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If I__

_If I shed my skin, I won't feel:_   
_ (If I shed my skin)_   
_If I close my eyes, I won't see you:_   
_ (If I close my eyes)_   
_If I cover my ears and I won't hear:_   
_ (If I close my ears)_   
_I shut my mouth and I won't tell_   
_The truth_   
~"If I" – Bif Naked 

_Harmony Central Park, Summer 1990_

Ten-year old Nicholas "Fox" Crane sat on the swing in Harmony Central Park watching the kids around him. It was one of the few times he was actually allowed home and wasn't shipped off to some foreign boarding school. He wasn't sure why his parents didn't like him as much as his brother, Ethan; he just knew that it made him sad. Yet, even at his young age, he knew things wouldn't change. As long as Ethan was around to be named "the Crane heir," he might as well be invisible. 

Even when he was home, his parents didn't pay any attention to him. They just shoved all parental responsibility onto Pilar, the head housekeeper, whom he doubted really liked him anyway. 

So here he was in the park with kids he didn't know and who didn't know him being watched over by the maid and listening to her eldest daughter—Theresa?—talk to his twelve-year old brother, her voice indicating that he was the earth and sky, not all unlike their mother. And Ethan? Well, he was oblivious to the attentions he was getting as he—believe it or not—did "optional summer reading" for school. If it weren't so pathetic it would be funny. 

Fox gave a heavy sigh and rolled his eyes. Maybe he could find something else to do, some other kids to play with. Anything would be better than this. This was torture. 

And then he saw it, a flash of golden-brown. He turned his head and saw a little girl enter the playground, a large smile on her face. She had bright blue eyes that shone with mirth and happiness. Her lovely brown reached down to the middle of her back and was pulled into a messy ponytail. Her jeans and t-shirt were rumpled and a bit dirty, suggesting that this wasn't her first visit to the playground that day. The woman who brought her—Fox assumed that this was her mother—waved her other two children—a boy that looked to be around his age and a smaller girl who looked to be not that much younger than the one with the ponytail—toward the other playing children then took a seat next to Pilar on one of the benches situated in the shade of a large maple tree. 

His gaze, inevitably, turned back to the brown-haired girl and watched her jump into the sandbox, the force of her landing sending a cloud of sand onto the lap of a black-haired boy—whom he recognized as another of Pilar's children. He expected the boy to be upset but he only looked up at the girl with a smile. 

"You're new here," the boy who arrived with the girl said, sitting down in the swing next to Fox, derailing his attention. 

"Uh, yeah. I'm Fox," he said, introducing himself. 

"Noah," the auburn-haired kid replied. "You don't look comfortable." 

"Yeah, I guess," Fox shrugged, "I'm just not used to this town. My parents usually keep me elsewhere." 

"Fish out of water, right," Noah nodded, receiving an odd look from the young Crane. "My mom talks a lot. Things get stuck in my head." 

"Right. Okay." 

"C'mon, Fox. Let's go play baseball." Noah didn't wait for any replies, only led the lone Crane child over to the baseball diamond housed in the field adjacent the park. "You do know how to play, don't you?" 

"Yes, I do." Fox was offended until he saw the teasing grin on his new friends face, a smile that reminded him of the little girl in the sandbox. He didn't know why he couldn't stop thinking about her…or why when he did he got mushy feelings in his belly, like a herd of buffalos being chased by a hyena. 

They were all dividing up into teams when he heard a small girl's voice. 

"Can we play?" 

He turned around and saw the pretty blue-eyed girl standing next to Miguel, both looking at Noah eagerly. Noah looked at the rest of the kids assembled, seemingly asking for permission, though no one spoke up or gave any indication of an answer. 

"Yeah, Squirt," Noah nodded. He must have seen the look of surprise on the young Crane's face and smiled, "they're little, but they're good. They run fast, I should know. I've had to chase them around countless times." 

"And no one has a problem with them playing?" 

"No. Why should they? As I said, the two are great." 

By the final inning of the game, Fox saw that Noah was right. 'Squirt,' as she was called, had an almost preternatural talent for the game. He was definitely glad that the little pitcher was on his team. 

"Fox, you're up," Squirt said, taking him out of his thoughts. She handed him a wooden bat that was almost as big as she was. 

"Thanks, Squirt," he replied, taking the bat from her. 

"No pressure, Fox, but the game depends on you," Noah said with a smile. 

"Yeah, no pressure," he replied with a wry smile. He hated times like this. 

He even surprised himself when he made contact with that ball. Unfortunately it went right through the stained glass window of St. Margaret Mary's church. 

"Nicholas Crane!" Pilar's stern voice came to his ear. 

"It was an accident!" he defended, looking around for help. 

"Yeah, Mrs. Lopez-Fitzgerald," Squirt spoke up. "He won the game! He didn't mean it." 

"Yeah, Mama. He didn't mean it," Little Miguel said, joining in with his friend. 

"My father will pay for the damage. He'll fix it." 

It wasn't too long thereafter Pilar was ready to take him home. Apparently defacing a church (however accidental) was a sin that he would burn in hell for, though Pilar didn't use those exact words. But he got the gist. But his biggest regret is that he never asked the little girl her name, for he now knew what the mushy feeling was. 

"Noah, Kay!" the redheaded woman that his new friends came with called out. "It's time to go home, now!" The girl, embroiled in an argument with Miguel, ignored her mother. "Kay Bennett! We need to get home now!" 

Fox smiled as Pilar led him and Ethan home. He knew her name now. And he was able to state the truth to himself. 

Kay was a beautiful little girl, the most gorgeous one he'd ever seen. She understood sports. She wasn't too girly like every other girl he'd met. Sure, she looked at that little Miguel kid the way that Theresa looked at Ethan. Even with that, she was the perfect girl. 

He was in love with Kay Bennett. And he vowed, in his heart of hearts, never to love anyone else. 

**THE END**


End file.
